There’s a quotation frequently found floating around the Twitter spectrum. From my research, and by research I mean a Google search, it seems to originate from “Beware” by Big Sean.
While it is frequently paraphrased, I see it most commonly in this form: “Because girls only say ‘I hate you’ to the boys that they love.”
Now, I understand that this song is about cheating and heartbreak and how a slighted woman can be considered dangerous, but let’s take this phrase and analyze it a little bit.
First and foremost, if I see you tweet it, and more than once at that, I assume that this collection of words resonates deep within you. You must find some sort of truth behind them. So, let me ask you: do you actually say “I hate you” to the gentleman you claim to love and care about?
NO! Because if you do, let me tell you…you’re probably not a quality partner, and the male you are dating is clearly not a good person to date.
Case and point: My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost a year now. If and when we fight, it consists of very passive-aggressive behavior. We get very sassy and rude to one another. It is uncomfortable, to say the least.
But, 1. This doesn’t happen often. And, 2. I NEVER TELL HIM I HATE HIM.
Maybe I hate how he’s acting, or maybe I hate if he says something a certain way to me. And I’m sure he hates when I say something specific or hates when I get into pissy moods. But he has never told me that he hates me.
And why should he? If he truly loves me, why would he ever hate ME? Love is supposed to be a deep, meaningful experience. Regardless of our flaws, regardless of when the other does activity we despise, if we truly love each other, none of that matters. None of those petty things will cause us to hate one another.
If you truly love someone, you would never tell them you hate them because the thought of being without them is unbearable.
If you truly love someone, when you fight or argue or squabble, all you’re thinking of the whole time is “God, I wish we’d stop so we can make up and cuddle.” Fighting drives me crazy! All it does is make me feel shitty. I hate it because I hate to think that someone I love and care about is upset at me.
Never, not even once, has it crossed my mind to tell him that I hate him.
So, I guess if you’re hating him, maybe he isn’t meant for you. If he is doing things that make you hate him, maybe he isn’t a very good person. And maybe if you are doing things that make him say that he hates you, you aren’t a very good person either.
Stop. Pause. Reflect.
And, a bit of advice? Don’t get your life mantras from rap or hip hop songs.
With love, XOXO.
I Believe In Daydreams 